So I was browsing the net and came across tragicsex.com. This site is dedicated to hilarious and tragic sex stories. So while browsing the site, I came across this article. You could never ever forget your first time after this.

I had been with this wonderful girl for 6 months. I had been after her for 2 years prior to that, but she never really paid me much attention. She was my first kiss, well, my first everything.

Anyways, I was 18 and it was my first time (should mention she was not a virgin). And a week to the day before was the first time we had gone beyond kissing, and even then it was just touching, no fingers, hands, or tongues, if you follow. Back to the story, we were in her mother’s bed, which I’ll admit is a little strange, but it was much cooler in temperature and much farther away from the front door than her room. It started to follow the formula of the week past, and I was content with going just as far as then, I thought that was amazing.

She slid her hand down my pants and grabbed my member, looked me dead in the eye and asked, “Do you trust me?” This isn’t the part of the story where it gets weird quite yet, don’t be disappointed. Things continue along, we’re down to just our underwear, bottom only for her. I’ve since slid my hand down below, got a little adventurous, slid a finger in. After a few moments she grabbed my wrist and gently pulled it away from her. I thought I’d crossed a line she wasn’t ready to go yet, wasn’t disappointed whatsoever.

But then she started to tug at my boxers a bit, telling me without words to lose them. In my mind I’m going crazy, but I proceeded to become fully naked in her mother’s bed. She followed suit, and pulled a condom out from under the pillow. Now, I don’t know if she was visited by the condom fairy, or if the tooth fairy leaves them instead of money, I hadn’t lost a tooth in a decade. Maybe her mom was expecting some? But the best part was the true part, she had planned to fuck me that whole day. After a bit of trouble of getting it in, (In retrospect she was incredibly tight.), I got to going. At this point I’m thinking what every guy was thinking his first time, “Man, this is fucking AMAZING.”

I’d say about 5 minutes in I started to feel a sensation, and before I became an idiot to not recognize that that was something I wanted to not have happen for as long as I could hold out for, I literally stopped, but pulled it off decently by adjusting my angle.

I was feeling pretty good about how everything was going, the thought literally crossed my mind about how I always hear about people’s first times being disasters. Not 40 seconds later her mom busted into the room, and scared the shit out of me. I pulled out and lost my balance ever-so-slightly, which caused me to not so much fall out of bed, but force me out, because I landed on my feet. Her mother made an entrance and just stood there staring at us, or more precisely, at me. I’m just standing there butt naked with the biggest hard on I’ve ever had. I’ve got blood pumping through me from doing the deed and getting the shit scared out of me. I found out that hard way that being that tense combined with unconsciously flexing your muscles in a keagles fashion causes orgasm, at least when you’re that close before doing so.

I unleashed the biggest array of come bombs I’ve ever unleashed. I literally shot the condom off in 3 successive shots and proceeded to hit the floor with 2 more big ones and then the obligatory smaller and smaller ones. I don’t have a big member, I fall a shade above the average line, I haven’t shot one off since, and I’ve used Magnums. Anyway! My knees both buckled, I stood there with the biggest relief, all the stress of the situation faded away, but my face was bright red and I stared at what I had done. My partner began to laugh and said, “Holy shit!” Her mother was far less amused, but didn’t seem mad, at first. She stood there kinda like, “Holy fuck, did that just happen?”. To be honest, her face was priceless. If only the bed was closer to the door and I would have actually hit her with some, which would make the story unbelievable. I wasn’t even close, but I would kill to see that face.

Anyway.. I was made to clean it up, which I didn’t have a problem doing. Her mother never even wanted me to be there when she wasn’t again. My partner was a really cool chick–we stayed together for a couple months, weary of when we could be busted, but I’m no longer with her. Oh well, at least she has a story to tell.

I didn’t mean to digress, and I left out the romantic stuff, I just really wanted to convey the point that it was going so well, perfect really, and then in a flash.. that.